Throwing “The Book” out!

In full disclosure, I’m a statistics junkie.

And always have been.

I think I’m one of the few people other than those who pursue it as a career, who took not one, not two but THREE statistics classes in college.

Whether it be sports, business, professional services or some other arcane arena, I file fact and figures away for future reference, which usually manifests itself in columns such as these or CPE presentations.

Other numericals such as batting averages or yards per pass attempt are best left for backyard barbecues or cocktail parties.

So as you can imagine, I got a minor thrill when the AICPA recently released its quadrennial succession survey, an amalgamation of several hundred slides citing responses from both sole practitioners and multi-owner firms on a variety of succession-related topics.

Sometimes it’s the smaller picture

Tired of election coverage?

Join the club.

As someone who has voted in every Presidential election since Ford-Carter in ’76, I’m adamant about not reading or watching anything election-related for the next 48 hours.

That may be easier said than done, because Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton more resembles a five-car pileup on the interstate that you can’t help but rubberneck as opposed to choosing the next four-year occupant of the Oval Office.

But in many cases, the voting public in any big election misses the bigger picture, or more accurately, the smaller picture.

A number of years ago when I was cutting my proverbial teeth at a local newspaper, my wizened editor who so often served as a mentor, pulled me aside one election night and explained that too often the citizenry focuses on the larger elections instead of the ones that affect them the most.

A bit puzzled I asked how so?

Payback is a you-know-what!

Earlier this year I chronicled my adventures with those overseas scammers posing as IRS Agents who claimed I was in danger of arrest for failure to repay back taxes.

As someone who covered the accounting profession for 12 years I was more than familiar with standard IRS collection procedures something our friends in India were obviously not aware of.

Well I’m happy to report, actually, “giddy” is more like it, that the Justice Department has charged some 61 individuals and entities that victimized thousands of people with false IRS claims resulting in millions of dollars in losses. As of now, some 20 have been arrested in the U.S. and another 30 or so and five call centers in India have been charged.

These Firms are a-Changing

For nearly a quarter century I made the weekday commute from my leafy suburb to Manhattan. First a 45-minute ride on the railroad, followed by a lengthy subway ride. As a remote worker, let me tell you that daily grind is not one of the things I miss about my old office.

As anyone who has ever done an overlong apprenticeship as a commuter knows, each train and subway car is overrun with billboard advertising – whether it is for medical or dental practices, banks and financial institutions or even the state lottery.

Since I began my involvement with the accounting profession more than 16 years ago, I always paid special attention to the advertisements trumpeting both the regional and global CPA firms – from those on the cusp of cracking the Top 100 to the behemoths of the Big Four.

As an advertising and marketing reporter in a former life, old habits die hard as with any ad I pay close attention to the copy.

And do you know what word the copywriters almost never use in those ads for those firms?

Accounting.

Let me repeat that for emphasis.

A Long Lost CPA Movie Thriller

Since becoming empty nesters – at least for the duration of the 2016-2017 academic year – the bride and I have enjoyed frequent date nights and that includes regular movie viewings, something we only did in 20^th century B.C. – before children.

Last week it was “The Girl on the Train” which despite receiving mediocre reviews I enjoyed and a film that will surely propel its star – Emily Blunt – into the Oscar conversation.

Saturday we plan to see “The Accountant” in which Ben Affleck plays an autistic green-eyeshader who just happens to moonlight as an assassin with skills that go far beyond computing goodwill or completing a K-1.

I got to thinking about some of the famous accountants in the movies – as I’m sure everyone who either blogs or writes on the profession is sure to do in the ensuing weeks since the film’s debut.

Sometimes, there’s no use trying…

Some people are just oblivious to reality despite all evidence to the contrary.

Take my neighbor for example. Since the day his daughter was incredulously given a driver’s license, she has had three fender benders, smashed into my mailbox while backing up and just recently was clocked at 93 miles per hour on a highway with a 65 speed limit.

Her fault right?

Not a chance. The father is taking the case to court, charging that the highway patrol “did a lot of things wrong?”

Like what? Citing her for driving nearly 30 mph over the speed limit and endangering others?

Sometimes there’s nothing left but to simply shrug your shoulders.

Let’s face it we’ve all known people like that. And there’s no amount of trying to sway their way of thinking.

And many CPAs are no different.

The Case of the Great Declining Multiples

Ah, the 1990s – Seinfeld, LA Law, Jurassic Park, Boyz II Men, Sega, Netscape and mobile phones the size of rugby balls. Some things from that era were to be treasured, others, like my pale blue “Members Only” jacket were eventually given to a clothing charity where I’m not sure they kept it.

In full disclosure I also owned a purple one that mysteriously disappeared from my closet. I always suspected my spouse but she has steadfastly remained loyal to her alibi of visiting her mother at the time.  I still find it strange that her mother lived in Florida and I don’t remember her absent for a week, but that’s fodder for another column or at least a segment of “Unsolved Mysteries.”

You know what else will most likely never return from that bygone era? Receiving high multiples for CPA firms.