Hiring Hell

The other day I was having lunch with a former colleague who, after years as a “foot soldier” so to speak, was suddenly thrust into a management post. True, he received the requisite bump in salary, but what he didn’t count on was all the ancillary duties a supervisor position entails.

So, in between the appetizer and the main course, he began to tell me of all the new responsibilities tossed in his proverbial lap and the one he disliked most was…. he didn’t get to finish the sentence because I finished it for him – interviewing job candidates.

For three decades it was the bane of my existence as well. Whenever someone tendered their notice of resignation, I was not so much disappointed in their leaving as I was dreading the prospect of bringing in numbers of potential hires for an interview.

To put it plainly, I would rather volunteer for jury duty than pose the standard questions to each hopeful. Nevertheless, I will boast a bit and say that I did register some spectacular hires, the last three who have been with my former company for an aggregate 45 years.

No applause necessary.

But along the way I did forge some interview requirements for anyone to be considered for a job under my purview. Some are no brainers, others have been borne out of experience.

So, in the category of no one asked me … here’s my top five….

Punctuality. My father used to tell me that if you showed up for an appointment 10 minutes early you were in fact late. That’s not to say camp out overnight, but don’t come 43 minutes late (yes, I timed it) like one soon-to-be-quickly-dismissed prospect.

Homework. There’s absolutely no excuse for not doing basic research on a potential employer with all the online information available. No one wants to hire someone who is obviously unprepared.

Not asking questions. You should have at least 10 prepared questions ready. A lack of questioning easily can be interpreted as a lack of interest.

Speaking badly about your last position. Nearly everyone has complaints about their last job, or else they would not be interviewing for another. However, a double-barrel flow of vitriol about your previous employer will not impress anyone. ANYONE.

Immediately asking how you did. If you did well, you’ll no doubt be brought back for a second go-round. If not, you’ll know that soon enough too.