What’s the Worst Decision Ever Made?

 

The late comedian David Brenner used to perform this routine he called “the worst doctor.”

The premise of the shtick was that of all the people who were awarded medical degrees, someone somewhere in the world had to earn the dubious designation of being the “worst doctor.”

I would think the long-term effects of being treated by the worst doctor would far surpass having your 1040 prepared by “the worst CPA.” After all, undergoing an audit is far better than the potential horrors of medical malpractice.

Not being a CPA myself, I cannot vouch for the skill set or lack thereof of questionable practitioners but it’s safe to say that many of them can and have made some of the worst decisions in recent memory.

Case in point.

We recently took on the plight of a sole practitioner in the Northeast, who had a profitable practice generating slightly over $1 million in billings. He was in his mid-60s and plainly speaking he had “had it.” The tandem of annual tax season pressures and the COVID-19 pandemic resigned him to the fact that it was time to take down the proverbial shingle and take up pickleball in a warmer climate.

Where Does it All Go?

 

In the classic 80s comedy “Married with Children,” the opening credits began with the patriarch of the family, Al Bundy, sitting on a couch holding a stack of dollar bills high over his head. As Frank Sinatra crooned, “Love and Marriage,” in the background each member of the Bundy clan approaches Al only to snatch money from his outstretched hand and scurry away.

I’m sure most of us have felt that like at times, figuratively if not literally. It seems that only moments after payday, our newly filled coffers are severely depleted.

But where does it all go?

Glad you asked.

After researching a myriad of articles on the subject, I have taken the unsolicited liberty of compiling a list of some of often overlooked areas that successfully and often clandestinely, siphon money.

When it’s time to rehang the shingle

 

I along with nearly 200 million viewers watched in amazement last week as 43-year-old Tom Brady mercilessly schooled rising heir apparent Patrick Mahomes in what was oft repeated as a Super Bowl “matchup of the ages” turned out to be a harsh and painful lesson delivered by someone not yet ready to pass the proverbial torch.

But what I found even more inspiring than Brady’s performance, was the victory lap enjoyed by the 68-year-old coach of Tampa Bay, Bruce Arians, who just two years ago retired from coaching in the NFL citing health problems including multiple bouts with cancer and burnout.

After spending one unhappy season as an TV analyst, Arians returned to coaching last year leading the Buccaneers to an unspectacular 7-9 record. Amazing what one big free agent signing can do, getting the last laugh on those who jeered the team for giving Brady a two-year, $50 million contract.

So, given as how our company primarily works with aging CPA firm owners who are ready to step down from full time duty and solve their succession strategy via a merger, I wondered what happens to those folks who retire and then find themselves mired in boredom and frustration asking, “is that all there is?”

Coincidentally, I recently ran across an article that detailed warning signs when it’s time to, well, un-retire.

“Bordering” on the Outrageous

Over the past few months, there have been myriad articles on the scams related to the COVID-19 vaccinations. As I mentioned a few weeks back I received a call from someone residing in the bowels of Bangalore promising me a “skip the line” opportunity if I just forwarded them my credit card information.

After all, scams do not come cheap. And I shudder to think how many will eventually fall for this this ruse, particularly the elderly who are most vulnerable.

Until just this week, I felt that one was perhaps the most creative and considering the climate of fear amidst the pandemic, the most opportunistic.

Then, earlier this week, as the East Coast was battered by a nor’easter that dumped as much as 26 inches of snow in many areas (including 21 inches in my little bucolic village) a call came via my mobile phone from of all places, Edinburg, Texas.

Now the only thing I know about Edinburg is that was the host city to what was once called Pan American University and the reason I even knew that is that the University of Denver, my alma mater used to annually include that institution on its basketball schedule. In fact, one of the team members joked that once when they flew into Edinburg, a tumbleweed blew across the runway.