“Bordering” on the Outrageous

Over the past few months, there have been myriad articles on the scams related to the COVID-19 vaccinations. As I mentioned a few weeks back I received a call from someone residing in the bowels of Bangalore promising me a “skip the line” opportunity if I just forwarded them my credit card information.

After all, scams do not come cheap. And I shudder to think how many will eventually fall for this this ruse, particularly the elderly who are most vulnerable.

Until just this week, I felt that one was perhaps the most creative and considering the climate of fear amidst the pandemic, the most opportunistic.

Then, earlier this week, as the East Coast was battered by a nor’easter that dumped as much as 26 inches of snow in many areas (including 21 inches in my little bucolic village) a call came via my mobile phone from of all places, Edinburg, Texas.

Now the only thing I know about Edinburg is that was the host city to what was once called Pan American University and the reason I even knew that is that the University of Denver, my alma mater used to annually include that institution on its basketball schedule. In fact, one of the team members joked that once when they flew into Edinburg, a tumbleweed blew across the runway.

Now that’s pure Southwest imagery.

After a series of mergers, the school now goes by the nomenclature University of Texas Rio Grande Valley. But I digress.

In any event, the caller identified himself as an agent of U.S. Customs and Border Patrol and said that they had intercepted a package addressed to me and were holding it for “security reasons.” Since the only delivery I was expecting was from Champion Sportswear I somehow doubted that several T-shirts and athletic crop tops were a threat to national security.

But, he said, “we can arrange to release it and send it to you.” Now I could not wait to hear the conditions. First, he explained, holding the package was an expense and the agency needed a credit card or bank routing number for reimbursement. Then, he needed to verify my U.S. Citizenship, so he wanted my Social Security number.

When I asked him who the package was from, he mumbled that the address was smeared and, therefore, illegible.

Before hanging up I explained both my Social Security card and bank routing numbers were smeared so I could not forward them and reminded him of what a great job they were doing.

After shoveling my driveway and walkway for 90 minutes and ending with a very sore back, it was much needed therapy.