Tuesday, January 4, 2022

You Expensed What?


 

Welcome back and best to everyone for a happy and healthy 2022. Here’s hoping your holidays were COVID-free.

But on to today’s missive.

My first introduction to completing an expense report came courtesy of the head of accounts payable at the publishing company that was kind enough to give me my first job.

Jean was a dour, moody individual who managed to intimidate everyone – from the office maintenance staff to the CEO of the company. She ruled the department with the subtlety of Vladimir Putin and if your expense account contained something that was not allowed it was returned in an interoffice envelope with DENIED underlined and in bold red letters.

Once she discovered an employee going through her desk searching for a paper clip and in less than 30 minutes, he was a former employee. A short while later, one of the women in the classified department attempted to write off a fur coat. I kid you not. It was also one of the few times I saw Jean laugh – perhaps it was because said employee was last seen being escorted out of the building by security.

But that was then, and this is now. With what has been termed “the great resignation” with scores of workers ditching their present posts for greener not to mention remote, pastures, a manufacturer of expense management software has compiled a list of unusual expenses that were approved over 2021 – items that I could not conceive of passing official muster even 10 years ago.

So, as we officially begin 2022 to wit here are some of the expenses that incredibly, were approved.

1.  Some $11,000 for new carpets to dress up a company booth during a trade show. As one who has worked a few trade shows in his time, I remember when we were lucky to get a desk, some chairs, and a working electrical outlet.

2.  $1,000 to remove a tattoo. I had to read this one twice for it to sink in. And I don’t even want to know what the image was.

3.  $1,250 to pet sit a horse who suffered from separation anxiety while its owner was away on business.

4.  A mere $85 for lawn repair after a company outing got a bit out of hand.

5.  $25,000 for a car when a new hire charged it on the company credit card.

6.  And perhaps best of all - $10,000 for a facelift which was classified as “repair and maintenance.”

I learned that a few years back Jean left us for that big AP department in the sky, but I would have loved to see her response to the above. I doubt it would have been suitable for a family blog.

 

No comments:

Post a Comment