Is Zumba Class Deductible?

When we last left off, I was understandably nervous about my taxes this year and whether I would come into some welcomed largesse, or help swell the coffers of either Uncle Sam or the two states where my spouse and I work – New York and Connecticut.

Well, it’s sort of a wash – yes, we’re getting a refund but we do owe the Nutmeg State some money. In any event, I did not try and use the Facebook early adopter strategy as a deduction as suggested in my last blog, but I read recently where some of  the state societies and other assorted groups compiled a list of the off-the-grid deductions some taxpayers had the temerity to try and claim.

Covering the accounting profession for a dozen years as I did in my former life, you can imagine I read, and reported on, some fairly eye-opening examples of egregious deductions that filers actually expected to pass muster with the Internal Revenue Service. Then there were those who were duped into believing that filing taxes was voluntary or required for only those people who worked for the government. Incredible as it seems in this day and age, I know, but that’s fodder for a future column.

I imagine somewhere in IRS headquarters in Washington D.C., there exists rows of file cabinets containing dossiers of these over-the-top attempts at lowering tax liabilities, which are subsequently pulled out and read aloud only during the annual holiday party to complement the festive mood and the 5-hour open bar.

To wit here are some that I’ve come across recently. The most difficult part I would think would be to try and keep a straight face in the wake of an audit.

• A woman, hoping to trim down, tried writing down the cost of Zumba classes. Well, on the bright side, she probably dropped some pounds and got in better shape.
• One man desperate to collect insurance on his failing business tried to deduct the cost of hiring an arsonist. Trust me; I can’t make this stuff up.
• Another tried to deduct losses at the slot machines as a charitable donation. I somehow doubt there’s a St. Bellagio or St. Caesar’s Palace that qualifies as a 501(c) 3 organization.
• A piano player tried getting the cost of manicures through, but he hit nothing but clunkers with the IRS.
• An aspiring dancer claimed that a tummy tuck and its related costs were instrumental to her career. Can someone say, “Two left feet?”
• A man purchased a mink coat for his wife and claimed it was a starter conversation piece for business clients. I’m guessing the IRS said no and promptly called PETA.