Dial S for Scam

A few months back, I regaled you with how many phone solicitations Chez Carlino receives during the course of a day. Until I began working remotely, I never realized how often our caller ID displays the words “private number” or “unassigned.”

As an example just yesterday we received 7 such calls.

Usually I either hang up after two rings or let it go into voicemail. I’m always amazed when the caller hears voice mail picking up and keeps repeating “Hello? Hello?” Apparently these people are hired by the pound.

But the best was yet to come. 

The other day an unassigned number from the Virginia/DC area appeared on the LCD and I let it go to voice mail. The caller on the other end identified himself as being from the IRS and needed to speak to me ASAP about my delinquent taxes.

So I picked up and it was immediately apparent that the call was coming from overseas. He explained that I was in arrears and the IRS was going to bring charges unless I settled the matter either by a credit card or via a wire transfer.

Apparently, he was unaware that I covered the IRS for 12 years and was reasonably familiar with their audit and enforcement procedures, so I decided this was too good an opportunity to pass up.

So the conversation went something like this:

Me: (in my best innocent tone) Gee, I always thought an IRS audit was conducted initially by mail. Is this a new procedure for you guys?

Caller: Um, yes.

Me: You guys never asked for credit card information before when did they change those rules?

Caller: Silence.

Me: What happens if I don’t pay?

Caller: You can be arrested or deported. Possibly lose your driver’s license.

Me: Deported? But I’m a U.S. citizen, where are they going to deport me to?

Caller: Silence

Me: Hey the last time I was at IRS headquarters they were remodeling the lobby (they actually weren’t) did they ever finish?

Caller: I’m not sure.

Me: What street is your headquarters building on again, I forget. (1111 Constitution Avenue, Washington, D.C.)

Caller: Silence.

Me: For an IRS auditor, you don’t say or know very much. Tell you what let me check with my CPA and my attorney and then call you back. Give me your number.

Click.

Sadly, this scam has claimed over 3,000 victims who have paid roughly $14 million to these fraudsters. To me this was similar to that scam years ago about those who claimed to have the winning lottery ticket but needed $1,000 or so to reclaim it and then promise to split the winnings – or those emails from Nigerian princes with enticing business propositions for American investors.

Sometimes working from home does have its lighter moments.