We’ve All Seen This Movie Before

Sadly, I was not the lucky winner of the $900 million Powerball jackpot, so in light of expenses such as food, the mortgage, car loans and credit card charges from the holidays, I was, ahem, “inspired” to return to work today.

I’ll give it another shot on Wednesday when the prize will eventually balloon to a reported $1.3 billion, the largest in history. Imagine investing $2 and overnight, earning a spot on the Forbes 400?

But I digress and on to the topic de jour.

Over the weekend I happened to read a New York Times article that spotlighted the problems at Yahoo, where approximately more than a third of the company’s workforce has exited over the past year. Now there are myriad reasons at Yahoo or any company for that matter for such a mass employee jailbreak, not the least of which is the rank and file’s loss of confidence in the company’s current leadership in the C-suite.

Now I’m sure many of us have seen that movie before.

And in a time when so much emphasis is placed upon hiring and retention and building a steady pipeline of human capital at CPA firms or any business, it never ceases to amaze me the some of the strategies or lack thereof that eventually lead a company to such a state of chaos.

Cases in point: I was once employed at a publishing company 90 percent of whose revenues were predicated on display advertising. So when the corporate P&L gradually began to resemble the current Dow Jones average, a consultant was called in and discovered that the company employed more vice presidents than actual salespeople.

Let that sink in for a minute.

Their solution?

Hire another vice president of sales to help right the ship. Trust me; I can’t make this stuff up.

Fast forward to the position I held prior to my current one, where a 700-person workforce in 2005 has now winnowed down to roughly 175 via a combination of unit divestments and consistent employee layoffs. Not executives mind you, but those commanding outrageous salaries of $40-$50,000 per year.

The worker furloughs happened like clockwork around June and just after the holidays, which means there’s another round of cuts looming. And those like me who weren’t victims of cutting, began circulating their resumes en masse.

But that periodic cost cutting strategy didn’t prevent them from hiring at six figures in order: a chief revenue officer (in addition to the incumbent CFO), and a chief marketing and digital officer.

From what I’m told, employee morale is only slightly higher than being in solitary confinement at a high security prison. Management’s response? “Turnover is normal.”

Perhaps, but not at percentage levels that rival a fast food restaurant.

I’m confident many of you can supply your own personal company vignettes, but as long as satirical comic strips like Dilbert continue to flourish, management is often the gift that keeps on giving.