The Scarlet S – for Stupidity!

Comedian Bill Engvall – one of the original members of the Blue-Collar Comedy Tour - has this side-splitting routing called “Here’s Your Sign.” Its theme is that less than intelligent folks should be mandated to wear signs bearing the phrase “I’m Stupid,” as to save anyone the trouble of asking them a question.

As an example, he recounted the plight of a motorist whose engine had suddenly caught fire. A good but dim-witted Samaritan pulled over and asked if his car was on fire. The motorist replied, “No, it just wanted to take a cigarette break. Here’s your sign!”

I’m sure most of us have wanted to hang a sign on one or more people at various times. Like the time I was taking a run down the main artery of my town in 90-degree weather and had just slowed down when a couple taking a stroll in the opposite direction asked me if the heat was uncomfortable. I replied no, despite appearances, I was not really drenched with sweat, someone just decided to spray me with a garden hose.

Here’s your sign!

Sadly, even professional people deserve to wear a sign at times. Or in some cases, on a regular basis.

Like the CPA in the Midwest who wanted to sell his firm and inexplicably signed a 5-year lease extension just prior to beginning the meeting process. He asked me if that would hurt his chances to locate a potential successor. I said no, firms in the same market climb over each other for the opportunity to assume the cost of a lease that they shouldn’t have to.

Here’s your sign!

Another practitioner who had already gone through an extensive vetting by several firms called me and said he neglected to tell any of them that for two consecutive years he had been censured by the state board of accountancy. Will that make a difference? Probably not I assured him. People love being lied to about accounting shoddy work and potential legal issues.

Here’s your sign!

And just last week I received a call from the owner of a firm generating $300K in annual billings inquiring whether I had any practices for sale in the $1 million range. When I explained the facts of market reality and that no one three times larger than he was would opt to merge with him citing payout concerns and capacity. “I can’t believe those are really valid concerns.”

Sometimes there’s just no response but to hand over the sign – whether real or imaginary.

Bill Engvall will tell you that you can’t fix stupid. But you can alert others to the danger.