His Scariest Writing Yet

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Stephen King fan.

I, along with millions of other theater-goers, levitated when the supposedly dead Carrie reached through to ground to grab a mourner at graveside during a bizarre dream sequence. And a year later, I may have broken Olympic records for the in-seat high-jump when a crazed Jack Nicholson smashed through the bathroom door with an ax in “The Shining,” in an attempt to turn his family into steak cubes.

But I think the macabre author may have been living in a remote part of Maine too long. Last week he penned an article for The Daily Beast titled: “Stephen King: Tax Me, for F@%&’s Sake!” in which the writer blasted N.J. Governor (and I say eventual Republican vice presidential nominee) Chris Christie, who said if billionaire Warren Buffett wants to pay higher taxes the Oracle of Omaha should, “just shut up and write the government a check.”

King who currently pays 28 percent in federal taxes of what I would only assume is a staggering income, wonders why he’s not paying 50 percent. By now, everyone has at least a passing familiarity with “The Buffett Rule” where those earning over $1 million and $10 million should be paying higher tax rates.

However, King, who was in Florida to support collective bargaining for teachers, and who claimed that firing experienced teachers was, as he put it, “sort of a bad idea,” soon became the poster boy for the axiom, “just shut up and sing,” when it comes to celebrities rallying behind political causes.

First, I’m a bit confused as to why someone who has made a fortune with words believes that “experience” and “quality” are synonymous. If it were, I’d have won Wimbledon seven times with the amount of tennis I’ve played.

Second, his reasoning for paying the higher rate is equally as bizarre as any of his plot lines.

He said that rich folks paying the 28-percent rate don’t dole out another 20-plus percent of their income to charity. Which is in itself, probably true. But he counters the frequent argument of job creation and economic stimulus with a case-study of two radio stations he owns in Bangor, which employ roughly 60 people.

“If I hit the movie jackpot—as I have, from time to time—and own a piece of a film that grosses $200 million, what am I going to do with it?, he wrote. “Buy another radio station? I don’t think so, since I’m losing my shirt on the ones I own already.”

So let me be clear on this.

Mr. King owns two stations that are bleeding red ink and his argument for paying the higher rate is predicated on the stance that hiring more staff (as in job creation) wouldn’t change the balance sheet or the overall economy.

Did he ever give thought to investing in a growth industry or perhaps enrolling in basic business classes at the University of Phoenix?

Just shut up and sing, err... I mean write. As in just write a check.