Burnt to a Crisp

When I was a high school senior, my dad somehow finagled a tennis colleague of his to part with his 8-year old Oldsmobile 98 for $400. That was my first-ever car, and a favorite among my friends, because those of you old enough to remember that model, it was large enough to seat at least seven and still have room to squeeze in a modern-day Mini Cooper.

It was the unofficial neighborhood limousine and designated hauler of beer chests.

But as they say, that was then this is now. Especially when you index prices for inflation which I will address in a minute.

It has not been a cost-savings month at Chez Carlino. First, our washing machine silently told us that it was at the end of its life cycle. Of course, it had to implode just prior to the spin cycle, so I had the pleasure of hand wringing out an obese load of jeans and towels.

Fortunately, the dryer still worked – thank God for small favors.

Then the dishwasher began showing signs of system failure, delivering murky-colored glassware, accompanied by plates and cups streaked with remnants from a previous night’s meal.

As we approached Memorial Day weekend, I proactively decided to clean and ready the backyard grill in anticipation of a three-day smorgasbord of burgers, ribs, and strip steaks.

Not to be.

As I pulled out the collecting tray to empty a winter’s gatherings, two of the burner grills literally crumbled in my hands effectively writing another appliance obituary. So, faced with the prospect of entering first holiday leading into summer without an outdoor cooking appliance, I began researching gas grills.

Now whether I was being naïve or just clueless about 2020 pricing, I reeled when I saw that the average tag for a replacement was more than TWICE what I paid for my first car. In fact, the same grill model that surrendered to father time was advertised for $899! And that was the sale price.

To again put that in perspective, that was more than we paid for our new washing machine, a giant-sized front loader model with a computer dashboard replete with so many complex indicators it looks like it could land an F-16 fighter jet.

But back to the grill.

Unless I want to pan fry the typical summer meats and cook ribs in the oven, I’m resigned to the fact that I will more than likely have to yield to today’s costs.

But you would think that at that price, it could at least squire your friends around town.