Monday, October 29, 2012

CPAs and Dentists: Building Brand Loyalty is Not Like Pulling Teeth

After an unfortunate encounter with a hardened tortilla chip that managed to crack parts of two adjoining teeth, I spent an hour in my dentist’s chair this morning getting it repaired.

White waiting for a double shot of Novocain to kick in before the dental fracking began, I realized that I had been going to Dr. Jeff since 1993, and thought about the reasons behind my 19-year loyalty.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Answer is Yes, What’s the Question?

I’ve known Ed for 25 years.

Ed is one of those people, who, despite not working in a professional capacity (i.e. a doctor, lawyer, engineer), managed to invest wisely and work a number of jobs to retire securely. And by securely I mean his post-work package includes a spacious winter home in Florida.

When it comes to purchasing cars, he’s boring and predictable. With the precision of a Swiss watch, Ed strolled into his Lincoln dealership every two years and ordered a new Continental. By my count, he’s owned roughly 12 Lincoln sedans.

That was until last year.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Wait, Here’s My Shocked Face!

In what must come as a surprise to exactly no one, Congress was the biggest waste of taxpayer money this year according to a legislator who annual publishes a report on wasteful government programs.

I’m sure you can picture my shocked expression - it looks just like the E*TRADE baby's.

Monday, October 15, 2012

These Guys Needed a Cut Man

As a lifelong fan (and mediocre practitioner) of what writer A.J. Liebling termed “The Sweet Science,” I’ve witnessed some classic boxing matches as well as some that, quite frankly, prompted me to grab the remote and flip to reruns of “Seinfeld.”

I’ll take the Soup Nazi or the “big salad” over a dull sporting event anytime.

As far as fights go, I would however have to rank Thursday’s Vice Presidential debate right up there, with incumbent Joe Biden, D-Del.,  and challenger Paul Ryan, R-Wis., alternately trading jabs and body blows over everything from foreign policy to the substance of their respective tax plans.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Emailing an Exit Strategy

The year was 1984.

I know what you’re thinking, and no — I’m not harkening back 28 years to regale you with some Orwellian reference.

It was the year that I had first witnessed someone using e-mail.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Who’ll Mind the Store?

Growing up, there was a neighbor down the block who owned a small market that sold food and other sundries. He was the sole owner and, since the store was open six days a week, I rarely saw him except occasionally in church.

He and his wife had no children, so as he was getting ready to retire, he planned to sell the space to a larger chain and retire to a community near Sarasota, FL. As cruel as fate can sometimes be, he was felled by a massive heart attack, leaving his widow to handle the transition. Unfortunately, I have only a fuzzy childhood recollection of what happened next, but something fell through the cracks and ultimately, the store was forced to close. His wife moved away and we never saw her again.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Debate Questions We’d Really Like to Ask

Tomorrow night kicks off the first of a troika of Presidential debates, and the inaugural question-fest takes place, I’m proud to say, at my alma mater — Denver University — the first-ever school in the Rocky Mountain region to host such an event.

The strategies for Obama and Romney are fairly clear cut.
Obama, who obviously can’t run on his economic record, has to take a proceed-with-caution approach, avoiding the gaffes and missteps that his opponent apparently cannot, while Romney has to be far more aggressive and throw the occasional haymaker trying to convince voters they can’t afford four more years of his leadership.