The Dangers of Competitive Relaxation

The other day I came across, or more accurately stumbled across, an article that listed five once-iconic companies that for decades dominated their respective markets, but are now relegated to that ever-widening graveyard of American business fatalities.

Millennials most likely have heard only anecdotes from older friends or relatives or perhaps read case studies in college about companies such discount dry goods brand F.W. Woolworth or Bethlehem Steel, while others like Amoco, Circuit City or Compaq Computer may be more peripherally familiar.

Don’t Come Crying Later

Post tax season is what we refer to here as “smiling and dialing,” a lengthy cold-calling process for stagnant leads in an attempt to either requalify them as potentials or delete them entirely from our database.

I’m not going to sugar coat it and regale you with amusing stories as a result of these calls, because they are few and far between. More often than not, you’re relegated to voice mail and the chances of a callback are akin to the Washington Generals beating the Harlem Globetrotters.

But every so often I’ll connect with a firm that on the surface would appear to be right in the cross-hairs in needing our services. 

All I Really Need To Know I Learned at Home Depot

Like many of you, I have sat through more sessions on honing workplace efficiency and operations than should be allowed by the rules of the Geneva Convention. I now consider myself a quasi-expert on how to promote a “we are the world” atmosphere within the office, whether it be a CPA firm or an ad agency.

But like Robert Fulghum’s timeless guide to global leadership: “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten,” if you really want to learn to foster harmony in a working relationship, try to successfully execute a home improvement project with your spouse.

Case in point.  

Can’t Anybody Here Play This Game?

For those too young to remember, the above quote was uttered in absolute exasperation in 1962 by the legendary baseball manager Charles Dillon “Casey” Stengel during his tenure as the inaugural manager of the then-expansion New York Metropolitans, or the Mets as they are more commonly known.

The fledgling major league team set records for on-field futility as they managed to lose some 120 games that first year.

Casey by the way, also forbid his players to drink at the hotel bar when on the road, because as he explained, that’s where he drank.

How to Lose Longtime Customer or Client in Five Minutes

When we last got together, I warned of signs you might be headed for a client divorce, citing the dangers of offering “reactive service” in lieu of “proactive” service and its probable effect on soon-to-be former clients looking for a new CPA firm.

I’ll boil that down even further – how about just offering bad customer service?

Now I’m sure I’m not exactly going out on a shaky limb predicting what poor customer service can do to a company or organization. We’ve all seen examples of that either up close and personal or chronicled in horrific detail in the media.

Are You Headed for a Client Divorce?

In the opening scene of the 2011 film “Crazy Stupid Love,” the stars, Steve Carell and Julianne Moore, who play husband and wife, are at a restaurant mulling what to order for dessert.

Carell’s Cal Weaver character suggests a rather adolescent, but novel idea: they should both announce their selections simultaneously. A Mount Everest sized “oops” moment ensues when his order of a delectable pastry is shouted over by her request for a divorce.

Talk about getting hit from the blind side.

You don’t have to review films for a living to realize that Cal didn’t see this life-changing event coming.

And I don’t doubt that this scenario plays out more than a few times between CPA firms and clients – although sans alimony payments and ugly child custody battles.

WTF a DWF?

Today marks the official end (sans extensions of course) of the 2013 filing season, which will undoubtedly prompt many in our preparer audience to let out a collective sigh of relief, or treat themselves  to that long-ago promised  bottle of 2009 Merlot.

Fine, you’ve earned it. Go ahead and celebrate.

But let’s be clear about one thing. I do not want to read about this filing season on Facebook. Not one word about the problems, delayed rulings, client anecdotes or hundreds of missed prime time TV shows.

Not one.