When I was in college, a number of us once went to see Steve Martin perform at a long-since shuttered nightclub in Denver. As part of his stand-up routine, he included a skit about filing your taxes, or more accurately, not doing so.
His advice was that should the IRS ever call you in and demand to know why you didn’t file, you simply tell them, “I forgot!”
The ensuing howls of laughter aside, it was not until years later that I began hearing not-so-dissimilar excuses for failure to file, especially among celebrities. After all, selective memory worked for former New York City Mayor David Dinkins, who — despite being an attorney — claimed he forgot to file FOR FOUR YEARS and somehow still won election.
Celebrity tax cases are nothing new, and in fact, those stories were among the best read during my former incarnation as editor of one of the top accounting newspapers in the country. The list of stars that have run afoul of the IRS runs long and some evaders even end up serving time, like action star Wesley Snipes who is currently a guest of the government for three years. Others in trouble recently included skier Lindsey Vonn, Crocodile Dundee star Paul Hogan, Linsday Lohan (big surprise there!) and supermodel Christie Brinkley.
Now that tax season is several months behind us, the celebrity cases are coming en masse.
Case in point is former Fugees band member Lauryn Hill, who claimed that she failed to file tax returns or pay taxes on $1.6 million in income for three years because, she — and I kid you not — was “underground trying to build a community.”
She goes on. “I did this in order to build a community of people, like-minded in their desire for freedom and the right to pursue their goals and lives without being manipulated and controlled by a media-protected military industrial complex with a completely different agenda.”
Note to non-filers and those who are or are thinking of challenging the 16th Amendment, which has been on the books for nearly 100 years: You might want to glance at the 80-plus-page packet the IRS has published warning against frivolous tax arguments.
Some of the more creative examples I’ve come across over the years against paying federal income taxes are: it is a violation of the 13th Amendment (prohibiting involuntary servitude or slavery); that it violates moral or religious principles; or that only government employees are subject to paying taxes.
Lawmakers have since raised the penalties for frivolous tax arguments from $500 to $5,000, so either way, it’s going to hit tax protestors both in terms of time and their wallets should they want to gar for a fight.
So, my advice to celebrities is just shut up and sing. And along the way you may want to file your taxes as well.
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