April Fools!

For me, April Fools began officially last Friday when a roofing contractor, who has failed on three separate occasions to stop a leak at Chez Carlino, spent 9 hours attempting to fix the problem only to have an Easter Sunday rain quickly divert the leak to another section of the ceiling.

Nothing like a heaping side dish of rainwater to accompany a spring lamb.

It’s like that arcade game “whack a mole” where you bonk the creature as it comes out of its hole only to resurface in another.

But it got better in terms of pranks. 

Yesterday I thought I’d read a column reprinted from The Onion, the satirical publication that has become an underground favorite of wags like myself, when the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, who has managed to balloon the national debt by $53,377 per household, proclaimed the month of April as “National Financial Capability Month” which he pledged his administration will teach young people “how to budget responsibly.”

“I call upon all Americans to observe this month with programs and activities to improve their understanding of financial principles and practices,” the President proclaimed with a straight face, one that could have vaulted him into Academy Award contention.

Seriously folks, I can’t make this stuff up.  At least it provided some much-needed comic relief from my dripping ceiling.

For those keeping score at home, when he was inaugurated on Jan. 20, 2009, the total debt of the federal government was $10,626,877,048,913.08. As of the close of business on March 28, 2013, the total debt of the federal government was $16,766,988,432,792.62—an increase of $6,140,111,383,879.54.

For Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg, sadly, it was not an April Fool’s prank when he learned that his tax bill this year will be roughly $1.1 billion.

Let me repeat that for emphasis: $1.1 billion.

To put that figure in perspective, Zuckerberg is paying almost half of 1 percent of the total that all Americans paid in 2011.

Here’s why.

The day that Facebook went public in 2012, Zuckerberg purchased some 60 million shares at the bargain basement price of 6 cents. Whether he sold or retained them, that is still counted as income from stock options, which is estimated to be roughly $2.3 billion.

Since he lives in California and is obviously in that state’s upper income levels, he’ll get banged at a rate of 48.3 percent.

Now I’m fairly certain he can cover that cost, but if he can’t, I know where he can make some decent side money if he knows anything about fixing leaks.