Paralysis by Analysis

In the late 1970s I briefly was employed by the now-defunct Jack LaLanne chain of health spas as a membership salesman.

In lieu of today’s designer gym wear, the required outfit for my position was black pants and a short-sleeved white top sans buttons – an ensemble that gave the appearance of being either a hospital orderly or a barber.

When pitching a prospective member, each office was equipped with a two-way speaker where Joan, the manager, would listen in to every sales presentation and if she felt it was going south, would quickly make a surprise appearance.

One day a decidedly overweight prospect came in and following the scripted speech I was required to give him, he turned to me and said, “Well let me think about it.”

Right on schedule, Joan came barreling into the office and bluntly told the man that “thinking about it” never whipped anyone into shape.

She lectured him and for the first time I heard someone employ the now common axiom of “paralysis by analysis,” a sleek sounding term for thinking about something so long that eventually no decision is ever made.

That philosophy of inaction by overthinking was about the only thing I took away from that job. I didn’t particularly like Joan or her Orwellian tactics with the in-office speaker and as it turned out, the chain was later hit with a number of lawsuits by consumers alleging “bait and switch” tactics with regard to membership levels and fees. As I recall it was eventually swallowed up by the Bally’s brand.

Fast forward to the 21^st century.

I find it astonishing how many CPA firm owners in dire need of a succession strategy are guilty of the same thing. Case in point, a sole practitioner in the Northeast approaching age 70 has had four meetings with a prospective successor firm in addition to a number of conference calls.

The successor firm drafted a letter of intent, agreed to all his terms and demands and on balance this was about the closest thing to a round peg in a round hole he was going to find.

His response: Let me think about it and let’s keep talking.

Seriously?

Want to know my prediction for the outcome?

The successor firm will become tired of waiting and move on elsewhere and the sole prac will have gone through an exercise in futility because he couldn’t make what seemed to be a colloquial “no brainer” decision.

I think I might have run into him while at Jack La Lanne or at least others like him. None of them ever joined up either.