Flying the Unfriendly Skies

Despite my well-documented ineptness with all things technology I continue to try and at least learn enough about the latest applications and techniques as to not appear a laughingstock in my own household.

Hence, I attend technology conferences such as this week’s Digital CPA in Las Vegas, where each vendor booth will gladly demonstrate how their applications will revolutionize the tax, audit, workflow (or add your own category here) processes. And hopefully along the way, I’ll pick up a few things here and there to elevate my tech IQ to a respectable level.

I doubt anyone, anywhere, will dispute the benefits technology has brought not only to the accounting professions, but countless other fields as well.

But you know what hasn’t changed for the better over the last two decades, despite all the tech advancements?

The air travel experience.

Oh sure, you can book travel easier, check the status of your flight in a matter of seconds, write reviews or get last second gate changes or announcements, but as someone who has flown on a fairly consistent basis since the mid-1970s, flying has in some ways, regressed.

And do you know why?

Here’s my best educated guess – the combination of more human interaction in the process and the airlines’ obsession with driving revenue.

Let’s take the former.

Now I don’t doubt the vital importance of enhancing airport security, but couldn’t some management expert (perhaps from Disney?) calculate a method of streamlining the screening process? Case in point, on a relatively small line at JFK it still took me nearly 20 minutes to get through security despite the presence of 11 (ELEVEN) TSA agents.

Next, despite my outbound and inbound flights coming courtesy of a 737 wide body I was informed by the gate agent at both airports that I would have to check my carry-on due to the fact there was not enough room in the overhead compartments. So my efforts to suppress my usual tendency to over pack went for naught and I had to wait like everyone else at baggage claim.

Now it would stand to reason that if your bag is the last one checked, in theory it should be one of the first to roll merrily down the luggage ramp. Uh uh. Mine was officially the second to last to appear going out and the last when I arrived home.

Only space and time prohibit my from describing how one airline which shall remain anonymous (okay, Delta) has compressed their seating rows to such a degree that I had to struggle to get something out of my pocket and wound up kneeing the passenger in front of me. I’m not going out on a limb when I say that those dog and cat cages used to transport pets to the vet enjoy more room than I did. I plan a trip to the chiropractor today for a much needed back adjustment.

I told my superiors that I will personally pay the difference for an upgrade on my next trip.

Either that or I’m Amtrak bound.

At least that way, I’ll get a nice view. And the baggage claim wait is not nearly as long.