There oughta be a law!

I’ve often wondered why it is when your children graduate college and land a job, they still remain on your payroll. Or when they need something, say a new mobile phone they (wink, wink) promise they’ll pay you back.

That eerily echoes the time I lent my brother-in-law money (lots of it) to save his house and his business and who promised to pay me back as soon as he got back on his feet.

That was 1999. I have not seen a dollar since then. I’m sure that rings all-to-familiar with many of you.

So this past weekend my youngest and I took a trip to the local wireless carrier. For the past several years their new pricing plan now mandates that customers pay for the phone either outright or in monthly installments. So my daughter and I forged a contract, she would pay me the difference between my previous monthly statement and the new total.

Okay, so far so good. But then the inevitable bait and switch or what is commonly known as upselling kicked into overdrive. I vowed to leave the store not paying anything extra, but you know how that often goes. The salesman said that I only had two more payments on my phone and since I was getting a new one for a family member it would be prudent to pay it off to keep the bill amount lower.

Done.

Then he pointed that that we were charged for 2 gigabytes of data overage last month and one the month prior. It might make sense to switch to an unlimited plan.

Done.

Then he examined my phone and said, your protective case is cracked and proceeded to show me a new fashionable line they just received.

Done.

Then there was the small detail of the taxes associated with the new phone and assorted charges associated with it – you know the hundreds of tiny legal paragraphs at the end of your monthly statement that you need a degree in hieroglyphics to decipher?

Done.

Long story short I left with an additional $300 tacked on to my current Amex charges and a pledge that everyone in my family will keep their current phones until the circuits are on fire.

Under the Affordable Care Act, it states your children can remain under your health care plan until they’re 26. I have a feeling my largesse will last far longer than that.