Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Some Folks Are Just Not Closers


In the 2000 movie “Boiler Room” a thinly veiled portrayal of the infamous Stratton Oakmont brokerage firm that was later featured in “The Wolf of Wall Street,” the main character Seth is enjoying a breakfast bowl of Cheerios when he receives a call from a telemarketer.

The salesman is selling subscriptions to The New York Daily News, an institutional tabloid in the Big Apple for those of you who are not from the area. Seth tells him he’s not interested and the salesman thanks him for his time and prepares to hang up.

The ensuing conversation goes something like this.

Seth: “That’s your pitch? You’re giving up? C’mon sell me on it.”

The salesman goes full bore into his script and then waits breathlessly for an answer.

Seth: “See, that’s better. But sorry, I already subscribe to the New York Times.”

Sort of smile inducing for sure, but too close to home especially in our business.

Accountants by nature are not what is known in sales parlance as “closers.” I’m convinced that procrastination and driving 15 mph in a 55 are somehow required courses as opposed to electives in accounting education.


I’ve had box seats to far too many lost M&A and succession-planning opportunities among practices because one or both parties took “erring on the side of caution” to another level. Terms like pulling the trigger was a phrase many heard only on reruns of vintage TV westerns like “Gunsmoke,” or “Bonanza.”


Case in point.

A sole practitioner in the Northeast had no succession plan and a rather inflated opinion about the value of his practice, despite the fact his average 1040 was in the neighborhood of $400. He was introduced to 11 firms (yes ELEVEN) and yet found something wrong with each one. After working with him for nearly a year, I cut my losses and told him to go look for advice elsewhere.

Last I heard he merged with quite possibly the worst match ever in terms of compatibility and subsequently de-merged within a year.

Ditto for a 2-partner firm in New England whose ongoing indecisiveness could have inspired a rewrite of Hamlet. The potential successor firm waited a tad too long and wished them luck. As of this writing they are still hoping for a white knight to come along. And there are reams of more case examples where those came from.

There’s a time to be cautious and there’s a time to close – even if it’s a leap of faith. But as any salesperson will tell you, if you do nothing, the answer is always “no.”

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