Campaign Mayhem

Having voted in every election since Ford-Carter in 1976, I pride myself in taking more than a passing interest in who ultimately runs the country, or even my local county for that matter. And I consider it a privilege to be able to exercise my civic duty – if that sounds a bit corny then so be it.

But there are limits to even my patriotism.

A while back in this space I complained loudly about the volume of solicitation calls I receive on a daily basis – with a good 75-80 percent of those looking for contributions. Come mid-October, that volume nearly triples, as my annoyance builds to an ulcerating crescendo.

Why?

Because every candidate, Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Green Party, Legalize Marijuana Party or any other far leaning affiliation feels somehow compelled to leave a personal voice mail for my spouse and I in hopes of capturing our vote.

But that’s the half of it – literally. 

The rest comes via snail mail, where the other day, we achieved a record 14 pieces of campaign literature sent to Chez Carlino. That was in addition to 7 monthly billing statements, which in terms of bulk dangerously overstuffed the mailbox’s capacity. On top of that add 7 voice mails and you would think that we were overseeing the local voting precinct.

It has gotten to the point where firehouses and police stations in troubled areas in and around New York City get called less than we do. Forget going to the “do not call” strategy, they are helpless to battle political pleas.

The topper came when a poster child for term limits who, unfortunately happens to be our Congressman, left a rambling oratory on how she deserves a 14^th term. This is from a 78-year old who had trouble remaining awake during an interview with the local paper and whose accomplishments over two-plus decades could be accurately measured with a straight unwavering line.

When the opportunity to take a survey followed, I lit into the unsuspecting volunteer with a fury unseen since the Ali-Frazier bouts and instructed her in no uncertain terms never to have this candidate call again.

Ironically, this Election Day I will be out of town and thus was required to fill out an absentee ballot.

On the bright side, I will at least get a four day respite from anything close to electioneering.