Why Dilbert Matters

My morning ritual consists of three things: an oversized cup of black coffee, feeding the cat and my two newspapers both of which syndicate the satirical corporate cartoon Dilbert.

First published in April 1989, Dilbert, which chronicles a micromanaged white collar office helmed by clueless management and eccentric rank and file, now appears in some 2,000 newspapers in 65 countries and in 25 languages.

Needless to say that’s staying power.

But its longevity and popularity is not without good reason.

No doubt many of you have at one time or another found yourself in a similar company culture. I know I have, and not just once.

My experience is such that I probably could submit several dozen themes to Dilbert creator Scott Adams, but I’m sure he’s heard and seen them all.

To wit: One late Friday afternoon many years ago I was getting ready to leave for the weekend and one of the vice presidents of the company I worked for at the time called an all hands on deck meeting for 6 pm that evening amidst all the moans and groans of those hoping to beat the weekend-bound traffic. Sales had been going south for some time and some of us wondered if they were going to announce a series of layoffs or worse.

As we sat assembled in the cavernous conference room, he calmly stood up and announced to dropping jaws that we weren’t really going to conduct a meeting; he just wanted to see how quickly we all could get together in case we had to call an actual one.

You can’t make this stuff up.

I remember having to restrain several of my colleagues from committing assault and battery.

At that same company, there was a group publisher who seemed to accomplish nothing except earn an unwarranted and oversized paycheck and make lecherous overtures to the young receptionists and sales assistants. When I once asked the CEO exactly what this guy did I was told, “Listen, when we had trouble in our Chicago office Roy (not his real name) was there to straighten things out.”

In reality all Roy did was let four or five people go, an action I told the CEO that I could have done at a far smaller pay scale. I didn’t receive a bonus that year and I’m sure my outspokenness contributed to that.

Want another one? Okay.

Four years ago when Tropical Storm Irene was barreling down toward the East Coast, I received an email the night of the storm from my Dilbert-like supervisor at the time – alas, it was not a message wishing my family and I to keep safe and good luck, but whether we had contingency plans to keep our free website content fresh and updated in case of mass power outages.

Emphasis on the word “free,” as it wasn’t a paid site.

Never mind that my primary concerns focused on a 100-foot hickory tree that was swaying dangerously close to my house or flying bits of fence posts shredded by 80-mile an hour winds and driving horizontal rains. Nope, our website was top priority. When I returned to the office two days later I immediately updated my resume and began circulating it that afternoon. Less than three months later I was in my current post.

And I could go on, but I’m sure you get the point.

No doubt you have your own tales of bumbling corporate executives as well as head-scratching memos and strategies.

But on the bright side, we get to revisit some of them five days a week.