A man walks into a CPA’s office…

Henny Youngman, the so-named “king of the one-liners” often told this joke about a man walking into a psychiatrist’s office.

“Doctor, I need help.”

“Okay, get on the couch. And before we start what do you do for a living?”

“I’m an auto mechanic.”

“In that case get under the couch.”

Ba-dum-dum.

I often lament the fact that I never majored, or even minored, in psychology, considering how many times I have had to assume that role during my career. As an editor, I always maintained that my job was equal parts manager, mentor and psychologist.

Now, as a consultant, those percentages are skewed far more toward the psychiatric side, since we’re helping CPA owners and partners to embark on the biggest business decisions of their lives.

Case, or, more appropriately, cases in point.

This week I visited two multi-partner firms in the tri-state area.

Firm A was a three-owner practice, with all three having decidedly different ideas on how to continue growing in the future. One wanted to map out a two-pronged plan that included hiring young talent (stop me if you’ve heard that one before) as well as looking for acquisitions; one was convinced that an upstream merger would solve a host of administrative and resource dilemmas; and the other could have been the poster child for a “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it,” strategy.

So as you can see, my first task was to get them all on the same page, which will obviously take longer than a 90-minute visit.

Firm B is, to be kind, in the midst of a civil war between the owners as well as employing a staff older than the pick-up line “Do You Come Here Often?” As you may have surmised there was no one on their bench for succession, not surprisingly, there was a declining morale among employees. Meanwhile, the partners barely acknowledge each other let alone discuss critical issues.

These people don’t need Dr. Phil they need the Dali Lama – or at least Tony Robbins.

To be honest it’s going to take a while before I can wrap my arms around each scenario let alone recommend the best courses of action. But I’m confident I can at least to a certain point – after that it’s up to them as everyone I speak to in any firm finds themselves in the enviable position of choosing to ignore everything I tell them and doing what they want anyway.

And too often if they choose the latter, it will get to a point where even Dr. Phil can’t help them.